Sunday, 11 February 2018

Whack-A-Mole Brexit

I blogged quite a while back that Brexit has become repetitive.  It is turning into a game of political whack-a-mole with the same issues turning up one after another on repeat.  Back when I started blogging the whack rate was just one or two shrews a month but as we progress to the more advanced stages of the Brexit process the game has become faster and faster.  It's now progressing at a rate way, way beyond the capacity of amateur bloggers.  The palette of issues and conundrums, however, remains exactly the same as it was back in July, 2016.  We are metaphorically bashing away at the same moles with the same word hammers.  The only difference between then and now is that nowadays we can go through several cycles of the entire mole genus before I've even written the introduction to a blog post.  It moves dangerously fast yet stands entirely still.  And it just goes on (and on and on).

Since I last blogged I had another attempt at trying to understand Labour policy on Brexit. I'm afraid to say that I had to abandon that one, too.  I need to accept defeat and admit that I have failed to decypher any semblance of rationality in their brainwrong gibberish.  More than that, though, in order to show just how off-the-chart they are on the bizarro-grotesque scale I need to bore everyone with a summary of basic rules about the WTO and and Most Favoured Nation status.  I can't be bothered writing it and I'm equally certain that nobody else can be bothered reading it. We've done all of this before on many, many occasions. Besides, anyone who reads this blog has already worked all this out for themselves. Do we need to do it again?  It's fun to have a right old laugh at the Labour Party but, as you might have guessed it, I'm not really in the mood for that.

If you're getting the impression that I'm fed up with Brexit then you'd be absolutely right.  I am fed up with it.  I got so fed up with it that I wrote about half of a post about the woeful state of journalism at The National.  Howzat for brinksmanship?  Honestly, The National suffers from utterly, utterly dreadful journalism.  Its deficiencies range from the most basic level of fact-checking all the way up to its ability to edit copy into words, sentences and paragraphs . It was kind of exciting to have a fresh topic until I remembered that I'd kind of done that already. Besides, is there value in attacking a newspaper that nobody ever reads?  I don't think there is so the post remains unfinished and unpublished. It shall stay that way.

Well, what shall I blog about?  Can I really put together an entire post about nothing at all?  Yes, I certainly can and it won't be the first time, either.  That's right, even a post about absolutely nothing turns out to be a sad repeat.  We are stuck on repeat.  We are so stuck on repeat that a link to the pop video "Stuck on Repeat" by Little Boots would be a repeat.  Even the jokes about repeats are repeats. There's a danger that Brexit will lead us into a recursive mirror world where our own reflection will eerily bounce around long after we have died of boredom.  Someone has to stay alive, though, to bash all those moles on the head.  Bagsy not me.

Everything is a repeat move in the game of Brexit whack-a-mole.  Remember the Japanese ambassador and his grave warnings about Brexit?  So much has (and hasn't) happened since then it's hard to believe it was only about 3 days ago.  Hang on, was that 3 days ago or 18 months ago?  Hah, got it, it was a repeat.  Remember cakeism? Well, it's alive and well, thank you very much, still being baked and still being eaten.  How about all those 3rd party agreements that will end for the UK on Brexit day?  Liam Fox has had a go at whacking that one with different mallets (he tried bi-lateral negotiations; he tried blaming the EU; he tried a technical note sent to all and sundry, he'll have another go soon enough).  Please, please don't get me started on the chemically washed chicken saga. It almost as though washing chicken with chemicals turns them into annoying, rubbery boomerangs. Fox encourages the hormone-injected mole out of its hole, only for Gove to give it an almighty whack in the sad hope it will make him PM.  I can't take this any longer. We need a rest.

I'm fed up. My Brexit reserves are exhausted. I have nothing to say that doesn't make me wince at the pain of repetition. Please forgive me if I spent most of the last month watching Foyle's War on ITV3. There are only a few episodes left but then the compulsion to blog will return.  What shall I blog about?  Brexit.  It will never, ever stop.

Over and out,


PS I shall probably blog about the Withdrawal Bill and how it is incompatible with the EU's guidelines on transition.  It is a tiny technical point but it is also something new (to me, at least) and not many people seem to be blogging about it (maybe because it is not very exciting but that was never a requirement for a blog post round here, as demonstrated by today's effort).

PPS I'm fed up with Brexit but I'm most definitely not fed up with life or descending into a melancholy or anything like that.  It's healthy to be fed up with Brexit.  This is a good sign. Schloss Entoure is a happy place.