Wednesday, 13 July 2016

Do or Die

If you've been reading this blog you might have noticed a lot of negativity along with general wailing and gnashing of teeth. Blah, blah, blah, this sucks, blah, blah, this is so unfair, boo hoo, I am a good person that pays my taxes and am kind to animals, oh why oh why oh why must this happen to me. This has been punctuated with not-hilarious anecdotes and links to pop videos with semi-apt song titles. Well, that ends today. This post, and the next few, will be about how to prepare for the future if are a UK national and would like to work in the EU. The time for consolation and despair has come to an end. Don't worry, there will still be not-hilarious anecdotes and links to pop videos with semi-apt song titles.

In a post-Brexit world what are the likely kinds of mechanisms that will let us all carry on living and working in the cozy confines of mainland Europe. If you are someone of enormous wealth and/or dubious morality there are all sorts of potential strategies. For example, you can probably pay someone to marry you just like Gerard Depardieu did in the truly awful "comedy" Green Card. Failing that, maybe you could bribe a public official. Some EU countries even have nefarious mechanisms to buy a passport. Perhaps you are brilliant at an olympic sport and have the phone number of Zola Budd's lawyer.  Look how that ended, though.

Let's say you are a normal, like me. What avenues might present themselves? Well, there are quite a few ways in which you might secure residency and employment rights in member nation of the EU. Off the top of my head, these might include a) gaining citizenship of an EU nation b) securing a work permit in a country of your choice c) convincing an employer to apply for a work visa tied to that specific employment d) hoping that your pre-Brexit host nation has an amnesty for UK nationals already living there. Now, none of these are as ace as being a citizen of the EU. I know that and you know that but, as I said earlier, let's have no more bawling or gnashing of my teeth. I already get told off by my dentist for brushing too hard so I have no desire to add bruxism to my list of shame.

In the next few posts I'm going to look at many of the options listed above.  If you've ever wondered how to apply for a German work visa then you might just find out the answer. If you want to know what skills you'll need or if you need to lie about your age, then hopefully all will be become 0.0001% clearer. We are going to learn that the 27 remaining EU nations all operate their own system; that there are foibles and idiosyncracies everywhere. Wouldn't it be great if there was some kind of centralised administration that unified all of this? Oh. Young people of 2049, that was a reference to the European Union. It was a marvellous age,  right before the years of plague and pestilence.

Please note that I filled the paragraph above with all sorts of caveats.  None of that might happen. Who knows, I might take this blog in a completely different direction.  Remember how many times I promised to write about the Swiss situation?  Well, I got there in the end but what a palaver that turned out to be.

Stay tuned. Exciting Moderately interesting times lie ahead.

Over and out,


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